2019: My Year of Light

I’ve designated 2019 my #YearofLight at Our Little House. Yes, it means I will be keeping lights up on the deck all year long, but it is more than the physical lights, it is a metaphor for my life.

The last project Dale and I worked on together the Saturday before he passed was putting up the Christmas décor. I could hardly bear the thought of taking the lights down. My aunt suggested, “Just leave them up, then,”

It sounded like a good idea. I thought of leaving them up just through the dark winter months. Grief is dark enough and lights always add a special touch to our woods. Dale and I both loved the glow of the lights during the holidays.

Then I realized this is a year of transition for me. It will be the first year I haven’t been a part of a “we” since 1979, when I met and started dating Dale.

Thinking of Kerri without Kerri & Dale is daunting enough, but there’s so much more. I will be adjusting my business so I am making up that other half of the income now gone; I have to learn many things about household and vehicle maintenance.

I will need not only the continued support of my family and friends showing me everything from running a chainsaw to changing the household water filter, but I will need a lot of light to illuminate my path in building a life on my own.

So, I decided to keep the lights up ALL year and change them with the seasons. Pink for Valentine’s Day, green for March, back to pink for April/Easter. Red, white and blue lights for the patriotic months of May, June and July. Orange to herald in the fall in August, September and October.

In November, I will again put out the Christmas lights, this time without Dale and hopefully, his spirit will continue to help light my path from his new journey as I continue my journey on this earth.

I had a glitch when my first set of Valentine’s Day lights were not everything I hoped and one string only lasted a week. Everything has seemed so much harder since Dale died that even this glitch got me down. But, I picked myself up, ordered new strings and they are working fine again.

All of the Christmas décor was put away on Christmas Day, except for the lights, which included my window candles. It was once a tradition to leave up a memorial for a year in a home in honor of a lost family member. Sometimes it was a wreath, sometimes candles.

In the spirit of my #YearofLight, I decided to keep the battery powered window lights burning for Dale and for myself, too.

A little extra illumination lighting a dark path can never hurt.

What are your dreams and goals for 2019?