If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say…

I know I need to lose weight, tell me something I don't know!


Did you see the story about Jennifer Livingston, the news anchor that received an email from a viewer who essentially told her she was not a good role model because she is overweight?

She essentially took him on during her broadcast for his bullying of her, and I say “Good for her.”

I’m overweight and I know it. I gained 12 hard-lost pounds back this summer after developing a horrible case of plantar fasciitis.

That just put me 12 more pounds away from a goal to lose at least 25 by the end of the year.

PF is a very painful stretching of the tendon between the arch and the heel. I probably developed it due to the fact that I have very small feet and have to wear children’s sized shoes, which tend to have poor support. My weight most likely didn’t help either.

It came on one morning this summer while walking the dogs. I got about a mile away from home and didn’t think I was going to make it back. I  thought it was a stone bruise at first, but the pain intensified to waking me up at night, and when I have to be on my feet for long periods, I know someone taking a sledgehammer to them wouldn’t hurt any more.

Walking even short distances was out of the question for a good two months.

I’m to the point now where I believe it is getting better. I’m back to walking the dogs a quarter of a mile once a day. But if it doesn’t completely heal soon, I will move on to trying the night splints (because my other foot is starting to feel symptoms too) and seeing what I can do about special orthotics.

But my point in this post is that people do not actually know what a person has going on in their own lives, which is another reason we should not judge.

A friend of mine and I went to a psychic fair this past weekend and for fun, we decided to see if one of the psychics got stuff right about us.

Mine told me I need to get “healthier” because my palm’s life line showed I would live a long life, well into my 80s and I would probably want to spend that time as active as possible.

Aside from the fact that she hit upon the same prediction as the only other palm reader I’ve ever visited, who said I would live to 86, she stated the obvious.

Like the anchor, Jennifer said, “Did she really point out anything I couldn’t see for myself?”

I’ve been looking at healthier eating options, and I’m taking steps (literally) to get my foot well so I can resume my 2 mile a day trek with the dogs now that the weather has finally cooled.

Although I sort of paid this woman for her psychic advice, I really don’t need anyone telling me the obvious (aren’t psychics supposed to tell us stuff we don’t know!?)  While this advice from strangers can come in the guise of trying to help, I agree that it is a form of bullying when people tell others how to live their lives.

What did you think of this news anchor’s story?     

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38 Responses

  1. I did see that story–why people are so vicious to each other…it’s beyond me.

  2. Terri Alice says:

    Just wanted to say that I was having foot pain at night and my podiatrist told me to wear Croc’s RX. I thought that was really weird but what the heck, gave it a try and no more pain!

  3. It also really irks me that people assume when you aren’t tiny that you eat badly and never exercise. It simply isn’t true.

  4. Weight gain is so complex — and personal. Why can’t people be kind and realize most of us are just doing our best, however imperfectly?

  5. Sandy says:

    Hi Kerri,

    I too have suffered with PF…pain terrible after sitting any length of time or first thing in the morning. As a nurse, I was able to consult a local physician rounding one morning… he gave me the best advice..buy Algeria shoes. I bought mine off the net. If you would like the site just email me. It took about 2 wks to see improvement and within a month it was gone and I have been pain free for 3 years now. They are a clog type shoe that has an insert that can be replaced. I love mine, wear them everywhere!

  6. I applaud this anchor woman. Good for her! And sure, I think it’s easy to see in the mirror when we’re not at our best weight. I know I can. I’m focusing on a healthier lifestyle, hoping that some weight loss will come along with it…

    • Kerri says:

      I think we live in a weight obsessed society and I decided a while back I wasn’t going to play the game anymore. However, there does come a point when I feel more comfortable and healthier at a lower weight. I hope yours works out too, Kris.

  7. Michael says:

    I think the writer of that email doesn’t know that if you don’t have something nice to say then you don’t say anything at all.

  8. Thanks for talking about something often not talked about!
    Best, Irene

  9. Anita says:

    I wait for the day when we, as a society, look more at the size of our loving hearts, than the size of our clothes that cover our loving hearts.

  10. Linda says:

    Until I started fighting cancer in June 2010, I always battled my weight. Had a little girl once ask if I was having a baby like her mama! 🙁 Ouch! So I have an inkling of how it can hurt. This woman was very brave, very articulate. Children know all people don’t look like gorgeous models and I doubt they really take much notice. She should do what is right for HER! Too, if the guy had been more considerate, more kind, it would have gone over better. If he had kindly offered her the opportunity to work out and tell her how much he loves it…It could have been handled a LOT better.

    • Kerri says:

      I’m sorry for your cancer, Linda. I personally think it would have been better left alone by this guy. None of his bees wax. 🙂

  11. Jan says:

    My 18 year old and I were talking about this news anchor and my son said “what if she was thin but smoked two pack of cigarettes a day? or drank heavily on her time off?” No one would send an email about that. I agreed with him and we both thought the news anchor did the right thing calling this emailer on their comment.

    Also, as a fellow PF sufferer in both feet and dealing with it for 3 years now–get to a doctor of podiatry. I have also had to upgrade to the top of the line running shoes by New Balance or Brooks combined with my custom orthotic inserts which have been totally worth the money. I also do daily stretches and low impact exercise to increase blood flow throughout the body and to heal my feet. Mine developed from work on hard concrete floors for 30 years and my 40 minute a day walking routine for fitness, go figure! It is a long, hard road so good luck!

    • Kerri says:

      Your 18-year-old is wise beyond his years. 🙂 Thanks for the advice on the feet. Definitely will take care of it. I think orthodics are the way to go.

  12. Alexandra says:

    I applauded this anchor, too. I have also put on weight recently. I feel so much better when I am my normal weight.

    • Kerri says:

      The heat of summer was as bad this year as the cold of winter for most people. Hope you get to where you’re comfortable soo!

  13. Sandra says:

    The best advice, as a fellow sufferer of PF, is to hobble as quick as you can to a podiatrist. Prescription orthotics will probably be a lifelong staple in your shoes and well worth the money. They do take some getting used to but so worth it. As someone else has stated – PF can and does affect people of all weights. Good luck!

  14. debbie riedel says:

    Just Like Jennifer …There are alot of health issues for overweight. I for one was a size 14 I went up right after going on my meds. Not all of us as most people are “fat’ because we eat like a pig & all is junk food. Jennifer is a role model cause she’s know’s her problem & yet goes on TV everyday …I read were a TV news women said she almost died from “Making herself to fit in”.

  15. There are people in my family who have struggled their entire lives with weight issues. I have five siblings, six kids in all. Three of us take after my mother’s side of the family. We’re on the thin side, while three of my siblings take more after my father’s family and have always been heavier.

    When I say “on the thin side” I don’t mean that I don’t have to watch what I eat and exercise to stay fit- I do. I can’t eat whatever I want and I DO gain weight if I’m not careful. But, I know that for me, keeping my weight down has never been as difficult as for my three siblings who inherited a genetic pre-disposition to weight gain. All three were bigger babies than the other three. They started out right off the bat, heavier than the rest of us.

    I have watched these three siblings of mine suffer embarrassment, humiliation and self- loathing because of their weight issues. I have seen them struggle courageously to lose pounds and get healthy. It is heartbreaking to watch people who are kind, smart, funny, talented and intelligent, constantly feel judged and demeaned because of something they are only partly in control of.

    We all have issues we have to deal with and we ALL have weaknesses. But when someone’s weakness happens to be food, they have to carry it out in public for everyone to judge and condemn them for. Plenty of people drink too much, smoke cigarettes, don’t exercise and do other things that are damaging to their health, but some things are easier to hide from public view than others, and weight just happens to be one of those things that can’t be hidden away.

    Someday, I have hope that human beings will stop finding ways to vilify and look down on each other, whether it’s due to weight, or sexual orientation, or race or gender or religion. It is just disgusting to me that people can be so petty, mean and lacking in compassion. Because I know you personally Kerri, I know what a kind, intelligent, thoughtful, talented and yes beautiful person you are. People like you and my siblings and this woman who is a news anchor, do not deserve the judgment of small minded people.

    • Kerri says:

      Kathleen, I think I’ve told you that I took after my father’s side as well. Big bones and the tendency to be heavy. My mother weighed all of 90 pounds soaking wet and was a tiny little thing and even had to go to extraordinary measures to keep weight on. She always said it was just as hurtful to be called Olive Oil or String Bean. I didn’t have a weight issue until I got into my 20s. I had decided not to fight it anymore, but I’m just too uncomfortable at the weight I am. But thank you for your kind words. You made me tear up! 🙂

  16. Sheryl says:

    I think people need to mind their own &^(&(^&*( business! She clearly knows her body and is aware of her weight; despite that she’s been very successful at who she is and what she does.

  17. Heather L. says:

    I thought Jennifer was right on in telling that guy off. More power to her.

  18. I thought it was ridiculous. As if she didn’t know she was overweight. And the writer was wrong about one big thing. She IS a role model. It is important for girls and young women to see that you CAN be successful no matter what your size.

    • Kerri says:

      I agree. Brette. Why do people think that role models need to be stick figures. We all come in various shapes and sizes and our weight doesn’t determine how we are inside, nor how much character we have.

  19. Benjamin V says:

    As a massage therapist I have worked with people with PF and massage can make it heal more quickly. I also had it some years back when I hiked on a very steep hill, and know it takes a long time. The reason for that, though, is that all of that tissue is connective tissue, which does not have it’s own blood supply–therefore, it has to get its nourishment from the surrounding muscle. Massaging the bottom of the foot a lot will help draw that blood into the tissue, which will help it heal faster (since the muscles in the foot tend to be on the top–the bottom is virtually ALL connective tissue). It does take a couple of months or longer to heal, usually–but hang in there (and get your hubby to give you a foot massage, heh, heh!).

    • Kerri says:

      LOL, I do, Benjamin. I also had a professional do some reflexology on it last week and it has greatly improved this week. I will tell hubby he needs to do it more than once a day. 🙂 Thanks for the tips.

  20. Elaine says:

    Oh my, your post is just the kind of thing I have written about on my blog – not the rudeness part, because I essentially feel that comments about a person’s weight are just rude. My focus is the healthy life style without the focus on the scale. It makes me crazy to hear people expound on being thinner.

    If weight loss helps your feet, or if it improves blood chemistries, or it gives you more energy, improves health – then go for it. Those are the only good reasons for focusing on weight. Focusing on weight to look better usually just results in more weight.

    And the “not a good roll model” comment … the emailer simply showed their own ignorance. So glad to see she responded publicly to that stupidity!!!

    I feel greatly for you with the foot pain. I saw a podiatrist for the same condition after struggling for 10 years with it. I have prescription orthotics now – foot pain gone. As I was told, the main contributor to this condition is thin feet and a high arch – thin from the top down to the sole – not width necessarily. I had the problem without having excess weight. So don’t beat yourself up too much – and see a podiatrist.

    Oh my I babbled on a bit. Sorry.

    I enjoy your blog.

    • Kerri says:

      Thanks, Elaine. I might have to do that just to keep it from coming back. I agree with you on the weight thing. I can get to a certain point of being overweight where I just don’t feel well and my energy is low. That’s where I was when I hurt my foot. Glad you commented. Don’t ever worry about “babbling,” we couldn’t be a community without conversation! 🙂